How To Translate What a Politician Says
By: Howcast | Minutes: 01:37 | Views: 23,206
Uploaded: July 23rd, 2008 (4 years, 10 months ago)
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Cut  through polticians' crap with our handy  translator. 

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Step 1: Identify those "real Americans"
When a candidate boasts of meeting “real Americans,” it means they've been forced to go  bowling and eat funnel cakes with people who earn less per month than they pay  for a suit.

Step 2: Recognize the  artful dodge
Recognize a dodge when you  hear it: “I don’t answer  hypotheticals” means “I  don’t have a clue what I’d  do if that happened.”

Tip
When a  candidate says, “with all due  respect,” they mean nothing of the sort.

Step 3: Read between the  lines
Read between the lines. A call to  “strengthen Social Security” usually means cutting benefits.

Step 4: Beware of the word "balance"
Beware of  the word “balance,” as in  “we need to find balance.”  That’s political-speak for  “In the interest of being elected, I’m trying to have it both  ways.”

Step 5: Interpret "I'd  consider that"
When a politician running for office answers a policy question  with “That’s certainly  something I’d look at,” it  means “There’s no way in  hell that’s gonna happen, but I  don’t want to alienate you by  saying so.”

Step 6: Decipher  "protect your freedom"
Learn to decipher the phrase “protect your  freedom.” Coming out of the mouth  of an elected official, it either means  “I’m going to trample on  some civil rights,” or “I  may have to attack another  country.” Or both.

Did You  Know?
Martin Van Buren, who spoke  English and Dutch, is the only U.S.  President to grow up bilingual.
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